tiny, peach-colored
pill, designed to promote sleep,
just makes me panic.
sleep
new and sleep.
So, hey, already skipped a day. Off to a stellar start, friends!
SUNDAY:
I’m having a hard time choosing what one thing to be grateful for. The entire day from start to finish was perfect. It started out at church, where I got to play a piano that used to belong to Elton John and then see my dear friends’ children get baptized. After that, we all hung out at said friends’ house to eat and celebrate and LET ME TELL YOU, Naples brought out the big guns weather-wise. It was only (!!!) 80 degrees, with a slight breeze, and no clouds in the sky. We sprawled out on blankets in the backyard under trees and sipped wine as we watched all the kids bound about on the springy grass, and all the while my smart phone lay dormant.
And don’t even get me started on the cookies.
But I’ll simplify it to this: today I am grateful for new. I am thankful for new weather patterns, new friends, and that all of this “new” is slowly backing up to make way for “normal”. And I like that.
MONDAY:
Today I’m grateful for Trader Joe’s. (Okay, who isn’t?)
But I’m also grateful for a sweet baby who LOVES to sleep. On top of sleeping all night, my little one is currently on hour three of his afternoon nap. (Called so because he naps the entire afternoon.) I think I’ll join in on the fun.
a silent alarm clock.
Once you cross over to life as a mother, nothing is never the same. And, for the most part, that’s a good thing. Now that I know what life is like with Dax Arthur on earth, I can never imagine my world without him. He is my everything.
But, like, I’m tired. Most of the time. Coffee is no longer a luxury but is instead a necessity, the only thing that can get me to sundown without face-planting on the floor.
So many mornings I find myself wondering, Will I ever sleep in again like I did when I was young? And I sigh, looking at my bright-eyed, joyous little ball of 15-month-old chub and think, Probably not but hey, it’s all good.
And then days like today happen, where I feel the morning sunlight on my eyelids and pop them open to find myself awake, alert, and the baby monitor silent, the beautiful un-noise that a sleeping baby makes.
And even though it’s 8am, I’ve “slept in”. Today, this is what I am grateful for.
A few minutes later Dax did wake, happy as can be, and I rushed to his crib to fetch him and bring him into our bed for morning snuggles.
There’s no denying that he’s a cute alarm clock. But it’s nice that he didn’t set himself on Saturday morning.
top five ways to keep your kid asleep.
Last week I wrote about all the secrets to waking your kid up from a nap. But I couldn’t do that in good faith without also sharing with you the ways I help my kid stay asleep. Sleep training be darned! Here are the real ways to turn your babe into a professional DreamWeaver.
TOP FIVE WAYS TO KEEP YOUR KID ASLEEP:
- Have an appointment you can’t miss. I know you haven’t seen the dentist since your last baby tooth fell out, but your kid is sleeping so very soundly in his crib and you don’t want to wake him up just for that, now, do you? Your cavities can wait. Unless your teeth fall out on their own first, in which case you don’t have to worry about dental bills!
- Rock your baby to sleep in such a way that, when they’re finally asleep, you’re really uncomfortable. Don’t you dare sit down. You know the second you do, your baby will wake up. You better figure out how to hold twenty pounds absolutely still while standing, possibly leaning awkwardly, in the middle of your baby’s nursery.
- Be very hungry, but also grocery-less. If you’re waiting for your kid to wake up from his nap before you venture out into the world to finally feed yourself for the first time in 24 hours, get cozy on that couch, Mama. This is the once-in-a-blue-moon time that your baby will take a two-, possibly three-hour nap. Good news, though. You can probably take your own nap in this instance, if your hunger pangs aren’t too much to bear.
- On a road trip, have to pee. If you’ve ever been on a road trip with an infant, you know the drill. If they’re awake, they’re screaming outbursts of displeasure at the thought of being in their car seat that long. But the second their tired little eyelids FINALLY close, your bladder will be the one ready to burst. Dare you stop to pee and risk waking your child? Nah. Just wait until they inevitably wake up LOLOLOLOLOL THEY WON’T.
- Let your kid fall asleep at a time during the day that is sure to screw with their sleep schedule. Starting a nap at 6pm? Sure. Why not! They probably won’t wake up ready to start their day at 2AM. Probably.
That’s all I’ve got.
How do you keep your kid asleep?
top ten ways to wake your kid up from a nap.
I’ve only been a parent for six months now (unless you count the nine months I was pregnant and I REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD because being pregnant isn’t, like, easy or anything) but I’ve already mastered the art of waking my kid up from a nap.
I know what you’re thinking. Why, OH WHY, would I ever want to wake my sleeping child? Well, the thing is, I never want to. I just do it.
In the event that you have a kid you just can’t seem to rouse from mid-day slumber, try out any of these tried and true methods.
- Take a shower. Your louffa won’t have a chance to lather before you hear the coos or cries of your sweet, no-longer-napping babe.
- Start painting your nails. You’ll be able to paint one hand flawlessly. But by the time you go to add your first coat to the third finger on your second hand, your baby will awake screaming and needing immediate attention.
- Lay down to take your own nap. Lucid dreams are all you get before your sweet little one is ready to play!
- Make yourself a cup of coffee. You might not be aware of this but the drip coffee maker you have (every model, by the way) is directly connected to your child’s brain. The second the last fresh drop of delicious java hits your pot, your baby’s eyes, mouth, and all-too-audible lungs will shoot open. If you’re lucky, his or her diaper will also be bust open. It’s okay. Coffee is still drinkable if you have to microwave it.
- Prepare for yourself a meal that is best enjoyed whilst warm. Don’t worry. You probably won’t get food-borne illness if you eat your meal three hours later when you finally get back to it. Probably.
- Start a much-needed chore. It’s not your baby’s fault that the dishes are as tall as you are and your sink smells like a butt crawled inside another butt and then both of those butts died. (Okay, just kidding, it is your baby’s fault but you can’t be mad at them, right?)
- Begin to construct a well thought out blog post. Now you know why this blog has been lackluster lately.
- Shave your legs. Hope you like walking around with only one leg half-shaved because the second that razor touches your overgrown appendages, your baby’s squeals will flood your bathroom faster than your shower head could.
- Hold a conference call. Working from home moms, I know you think you’re so smart to schedule your conference calls during your baby’s nap times but LOL LET’S BE HONEST THEY KNOW BETTER THAN YOU DO.
- Put in your favorite workout DVD in an attempt to finally lose that baby weight. More chub to love, am I right, ladies?
There you have it. Ten sure fire ways to wake your kid up from a nap. Stay tuned — I’m also an expert on keeping them asleep, so I’ll share that knowledge later.
Happy sleep deprivation, moms!
fueled by diet coke 