This is filed under “ones that are hard to write”.
There are so many sad/bad/frustrating things about being several thousand miles away from all my closest friends:
1. Despite being outgoing and outwardly confident all of the time, deep inside I’m unreasonably insecure, so I believe that I’m “out of sight, out of mind.”
2. Like it or not, relationships change when people move away. When you’re not with someone, it’s hard to really engage with them. Even though…
3. Social media makes it a little bit better/mostly worse.
You may recall I underwent a social media fast earlier this year. I wrote about how it was great for my soul and how everyone who’s on social media should do it every now and again and blah blah blah.
But since moving to Naples, I’ve attached myself to social media out of fear of numbers 1 and 2 on that list. By trying to be fully engulfed in Facebook and Twitter and Instagram, I’ve tried so hard to fool myself into thinking that I’m not out of sight or mind and that my relationships aren’t different.
But the bitter pill I’ve had to swallow lately is that I am and they are.
And so social media has — yet again — done little to help me but, instead, all it can to harm me. On Facebook I’m invited to events that I can’t go to and my newsfeed is flooded with pictures of those events that are somehow still happening in my absence. On Instagram I’m seeing photo after photo after photo of people I love doing things with other people I love where I might be if I was still home.
And the green-eyed envy monster wins another one.
It is absolutely crucial to my job to be active on social media so a fast is out of the question. But I will say this — my heart isn’t in a good place right now and maybe if I’m open about it, that’ll allow for space for us to talk about the reality that is social media induced envy.
TELL ME, READERS:
Have you ever seen a picture on Instagram and thought, “Ugh, that person must have the perfect life.”?
Have you ever seen a status update that made you throw up in your mouth a little bit because it was so…just…perfect?
Please tell me I’m not the only one. Let’s be real, here. What do you do to combat these feelings?