diet coke 12-pack: week of january 26, 2015

WHOA HEY. Remember these? Probably not, because the last time I wrote one was back in 2011 which was before I was a mom.

LOLOLOLOL time flies so fast though.

To get you up to speed, back in the day, I would collect all the stuff I’ve read/loved over the past week and share them with you. And since I’m back at it, HERE YOU GO.

Also, a lot of these bloggers are my IRL friends and they are cool so if you like me, you should definitely like them.

Only thing I ask is that you please don’t break up with my blog for their blogs. Sure their blogs (as well as their faces) are sexier than mine and they are undoubtedly more trendy/fun/nice/better cooks but LISTEN. You liked me first, right?

Right. Anyway.

WHAT I’M READING THIS WEEK:

  • How To Ditch The Cubicle | SEMIPROPER – In America, in 2015, the age of supposed hover boards and wiggity whack jumpsuits, should we not be able to fully work from home? That’s kind of my thought process this year as I navigate how in the heck to care for two children and still make ends meet without selling every comic book Dan owns. (What? I would never…)
  • Friday DIY Roundup | Oh the Lovely Things – A few friends and I have decided to have a monthly DIY “crafternoon” (a thank you, a thank you) all year in order to make Christmas presents in a timely manner. I love these ideas and I’m pretty sure I’m going to make that photo soap of my FACE for literally everyone I know. (You’re so welcome in advance.)
  • Printable Valentine’s Day Gift Wrap | Sarah Hearts – To go along with the DIY theme, download these adorable gift wraps from my homie Sarah. They are almost as adorable as she is. Almost. Also, why fight the line at Target when you can just click print? Genius.
  • I Chose Life and His Name is Lexington Anthony | Svellerella – I am not all about to get political up in here (ain’t nobody got time for that) but reading this girl’s story wrecked me a little bit. Life doesn’t always go as planned but, if you let it, it can be beautiful.
  • The Continuing Saga of Blink-182 Explained in Blink-182 Gifs | Hello Giggles – Because I was a huge Blink fan in the late 90s/early 00s, and because who doesn’t love a set of good gifs? (Also, Tom DeLonge, WTF bro? Stay together for the kids!)
  • Test Driving Natural Skin Care | Scratch or Sniff – My skin has always sucked. The first pimple I remember getting was in the 2nd (!!!!) grade. When my friends were fighting over broken crayons, I was in the bathroom crying over my broken skin. In my 20s, especially putting my hormones through the wringer with pregnancies/nursing/miscarriages/everything, it hasn’t really gotten any better. I’ve ditched all the harsh chemical treatments I was using and have switched to a skin care routine similar to this one, and I might give this routine a try.

And that’s all from me this week. Check you next week.

<3,

Lindsay

what it’s like to be afraid of a blog.

I mentioned yesterday that I took a three-month blogging hiatus for personal reasons. While I don’t want to go into all of them, I will say that a big part of my problem was that I was just plain scared of my blog.

Which is super dumb because my blog can’t, like, hurt me or anything. For crying out loud it isn’t even a tangible thing. And I created it. But regardless, I was (and am still a little bit) afraid of it.

So. What’s does it look like to be afraid of a blog?

1. A blank draft page shuts down all of your brain cells. 

I never realized how much power a set of HTML code could have over a person until I tried to blog and the mere sight of a blank draft paralyzed me. What once came so naturally to me — stringing words together to form coherent thoughts — was suddenly impossible. I would get a blog idea, open my dashboard, see the blank page, and then…

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2. This leads you to believe your blog will steal your other powers. 

First writing, then what? Speaking? Spelling? Breathing? I wasn’t sure how far my blog was going to go, so I felt it was best to play it safe and keep my blog at a distance. I can’t afford to have my blog shut down my lungs on top of my brain, too. That would surely kill me.

3. You forget that you ever blogged in the first place. 

I would have conversations with my friends about their lives, and they would casually mention the blogs they follow or their Bloglovin’ feeds or whatever. And I would nod along stupidly, drool a little bit, and then utter something along the lines of:

“Blogs haha wow blogs those are cool blogs what is a blog can you tell me more about your internets.”

4. You admit defeat.

Your WordPress app’s dormancy then defines your blog’s (and your, by extension) state of life. Blog post ideas float into your head and so quickly out, because your brain’s muscles have atrophied from months of non-use. Your future flashes before your eyes and you see yourself explaining to your grandchildren, “I had a blog once…oh yes, your grandmother knew how to blog. And then one day… it just…left.

——————————–

The thing that sucked the most about being afraid of my blog was that I was afraid of something that was so inherently me. Without getting too psycho-babbly, that’s fodder for a chaise lounge and a paid professional, right? Like being afraid of my blog made me afraid of a little part of myself.

And that reminded me of the reason I started blogging in the first place — because I can’t afford therapy.

So, I diagnosed myself in need of some therapy and got back on the horse. And here we are.

*crickets*

So uh.

Hey there. 🙂

Been awhile. 🙂

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There are a lot of reasons for my three-month (!!!) blogging hiatus. And all of them are personal. So, uh, sorry, but I don’t really want to go into them. But here’s what you need to know for right now:

1. I’m back.

2. For, like, good.

3. I got pregnant while I was gone. Due in June!

4. You better be ready for some serious blogging.

K thanks.

Sincerely,

The Worst Blogger Ever

31 days of discovery – LINK UP POST.

31days

Hey! Thanks for following me along for 31 days as I discover new things in my life. This is my link up post, so as I post each day’s blog I will link it up here.

If you’re wanting to join me in writing a blog a day for the entire month of October, there is still time to link up! Click here to join in on the fun!

**********

day one: fire.

day two: empathy.

day three: what matters.

day four: precious moments.

day five: community.

day six: rescheduled.

day seven: the darnedest things.

day eight: the limit.

day nine: joy.

day ten: bad guys.

day eleven: some daxisms.

day twelve: music therapy.

day thirteen: caffeine withdrawal.

day fourteen: prayer.

day fifteen: my own strength.

day sixteen: miss (oops).

day seventeen: reality.

day eighteen: little victories.

day nineteen: love.

day twenty: silence.

day twenty-one: miss.

day twenty-two: miss.

day twenty-three: miss.

day twenty-four: miss.

day twenty-five: treats.

day twenty-six:

day twenty-seven:

day twenty-eight:

day twenty-nine:

day thirty:

day thirty-one:

31 days to discover what i know.

oconnor-bday

For me, writing has never been a hobby. It’s has always been the way I process my interactions with the world. It’s a compulsion. Like breathing, it is almost involuntary for me. I’m not entirely sure I have a grasp on my own thoughts until I can see them written down. It helps me make sense of things. It makes me feel alive. It makes me feel creative and like I can change this world for the better. Maybe. It makes me feel like I might even have the slightest bit of control over my life.

LOLOLOLOL

Ever since I was a little girl I’ve been a writer. I remember being in 4th grade and attending a Young Authors Banquet at my elementary school, clutching in my tiny hands a novel I’d written (and illustrated!) on computer paper and carefully stapled together. The very next year I remember a teaching assistant (who wasn’t exactly fond of me) snatching my journal away from me during class because I couldn’t seem to quit writing and focus on her lessons.

When the internet happened and, almost beyond my own consent, slithered its way into my daily life, I naturally began to write on the internet. (Shout out, LiveJournal!) Then, in 2009, this blog was born. Thanks to technology, candidly chronicling my interaction with this world through my own highly biased lens was easy, fun, and exciting! If you’ve been reading me for any length of time you know that I’ve always been as authentic as possible on here (because I know no other way) throwing all caution to the wind, pouring my heart and soul out to whomever may be reading/watching/listening/whatever to the words I have to say, not necessarily thinking of the implications of my very naturally occurring practices. And people liked it. And I liked that people liked it.

But then recently, I learned that some people DON’T like it. Maybe they don’t like me. And, furthermore, may even be hurt by it and/or me. The line between my blog and myself had become so blurred that I wasn’t able to see where I ended and the internet began. And so I was hurt by it. So I was hurting myself by writing on the internet, despite not really knowing any other way to interact with the internet.

In other words, I’ve recently found that writing on the internet can be really tricky.

Get away, Captain Obvious. No one asked you.

Needless to say, over the past few months, this has rattled me into a blogging silence. I’ve found myself staring at blank pages terrified to say the exact things I’m feeling because they may offend someone or, worse, actually hurt someone and then, by proxy, hurt me. So instead of writing, I’ve been… just… not.

Not even in my journal.

Because how do I know my journal isn’t gonna go squealing to its BFF my blog? I mean really, Self. Come on. You’re ridiculous.

Anyway…

That’s a pretty vague (again, the authenticity of this whole internet thing is a sudden terrible fear I have) explanation to my unexpected blog silence over the past few months.

But hey! I think it might be over!

My dear friend Beth posted on her blog that she’s gonna do this thing in October where she writes for 31 days. And she invited anyone else who might be up to the challenge.

And I thought, “Hey. I might could be.”

And then I opened up my blog to write this post and I got scared. So who knows.

Are any of you up to the awkward challenge of me trying to figure out how to blog again? *desperately searches for a fist bump somewhere* Come onnnn.

are you there, blog? it’s me, lindsay.

HELLO. Hi. How are you?

*crickets*

Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay. I realize I haven’t posted in, like, FOREVS. Please stand down, angry citizens. I come in peace.

If you MUST know, I’m currently in the process of revamping this whole blog thing. Turns out I have a little bit of a hefty following and I’m ashamed of the content I was feeding you. You deserve better than that. Yes, YOU. I mean look at that outfit you’ve got on. You’re a stunner. You deserve stunning blogs to go with that getup.

So, please, bear with me as I navigate this blog like a total n00b. Mo’ betta posts are in the works. They are coming soon. SWEARSIES.

In the mean time, check out these beauties. They’re my most popular posts. If my posts were my children, I imagine these posts would form the cool clique at school. But they wouldn’t bully the other posts, okay? I raised them better than that.

Y’ALL DA BEST. Stay tuned!

a clarification.

Yo. Readers. Sup.

I get a lot of comments on my blog, both in the actual comments section and on Facebook, that are really encouraging. Stuff like, “OMG don’t feel bad about yourself! You are great! You are lovely! Don’t worry about pleasing other people!” And so on and so forth. Very uplifting, very sweet, and very much what I need to hear sometimes.

But I need you all to know something.

I don’t write this blog to fish for encouragement. That is not my intention at all.

At this point in my self-love journey, I get all the encouragement I need from my own self-talk, the people closest to me, mentors, my faith and prayer time, and all the bags of salt and vinegar chips I can get my hands on. Fear not! I am not lacking in that department at all. I write this blog because I want to normalize and talk about the very real insecurities a lot of us women have that, for whatever reason, we feel the need to cover up most of the time. I write to point out what is real and what is true so that everyone who stumbles across my little corner of the internet can heavily EXHALE and think, “Thank goodness I’m not the only one.”

That’s really it.

Don’t get me wrong — this is not to say that I don’t enjoy your comments. I really really do. They bring me life and joy and peace. So keep them coming if you so wish. I just don’t want you to think that if you don’t comment on my blog a rebuttal to every satirical self-deprecating post I write, I’ll jump off the nearest bridge. Don’t worry. I won’t.

Unless the nearest bridge crosses over a river of chocolate. In which case, well… I can’t make any promises.

creep

Mmmm. River of chocolateeeee…