a good body image kick in the pants.

I’m 20 weeks pregnant. I’m halfway done.

I’ve also gained ten (!!!) pounds, which is exactly half as much weight as my doctor told me I should gain during the pregnancy. In reality, I’m right on track. (Halfway there when I’m halfway there! That makes sense! Half a pound a week from here on out, right?) But as of right now, this second, I’m not doing so well. Instead of being a new mom, carrying around and sustaining a healthy baby boy, my mind is in the dark and can only see myself as a woman who has gained ten pounds in five months and can’t button her jeans which means she’s ugly, worthless, stupid, a bad friend, a horrible cook, a horrible mom, a horrible wife, who will never be a published writer…

Sigh. Isn’t it ridiculous how a bad body image can poison the otherwise awesome parts that make you you? Or am I just THAT mental?

I can usually talk myself out of feeling like a whale by reminding myself, Lindsay! You are building a life! But it’s hard to switch a twentysomething-year-old paradigm (that gaining weight is the absolute WORST thing I could ever do, save maybe intentionally running over a litter of kittens) just because I got knocked up a few months ago.

Today, HelloGiggles posted an article by Julia Gazdag that was the body image kick in the pants I needed, even though it’s not directly aimed at pregnant women. It’s a great reminder about the heavy implications and repercussions of falling victim to a broken society’s view of beauty.

This excerpt in particular was one I really needed to read today:

You’re not attractive because you look like the airbrushed neo-Barbie posing with a giant bottle in a vodka ad, or the limitlessly fancy red carpet starlet. You’re attractive because of how you tell a story, how your eyes crinkle when you smile, how you love a certain author so fervently, and any number of other trite rom-com clichés. Because there’s actually truth to those sappy monologues – the most attractive thing about anyone is what makes them unique, not what makes them blend in. Anyone who is more focused on your looks than your self is bad news and in all likelihood cares very little about you as a person, except to use you as an accessory. We’re women, not purses, and that means we can own our greatness instead of comparing it to that of others while vying for mediocraty.

To read the rest of Julia’s article (and possibly get the kick in the pants you need) click here.

things i love thursday: MY SON! (march 1, 2012)

For those of you who aren’t following me and the hubs on our pregnancy blog, we found out this week that our little baby is a BOY! His name is Dax Arthur and we love him so much already it hurts, so this week’s TILT is appropriately all about him.

Check out our little man, currently spending his days rolling around in my belly!

Are those cheeks not the cutest little cheeks you’ve ever seen? And that NOSE! How are you not swooning already? Ladies?

(Also, yes, in case you didn’t know, my real first name is Helen. I’ve gone by my middle name all my life. Anywayyyy.)

Despite the fact that 90% of my friends and family were positive I was carrying a girl, I knew better. I’ve always said that God has been preparing my heart to mother boys ever since I was born. The pets I’ve raised on my own (Romeo and Hamlet) are boys. I was the only girl in my family. As a matter of fact, I used to think I could actually be a boy if I tried hard enough. (Oh, did you miss that? You can read about that nonsense here.)

For me, mothering a boy is a huge blessing. I don’t know the first thing about girls. I mean, I obviously have the girl thing down to some extent, what with being pregnant and all, but I think that trying to live up to what a “real” girl is supposed to be (fashion-forward, gourmet cook, a “gentle and quiet spirit,” all the things I’ll regrettably never be) would be overwhelming if/when I have a girl. While everyone says girls are “easier” to raise and that boys are “a handful,” I say bring it on. The fact that my first go at motherhood isn’t going to be associated with perfect girliness but rather messy rambunctiousness is (believe it or not) a huge relief for me. If and when we do have a girl, I’ll already know what it’s like to be a “mom,” and I can focus on figuring out what it means to be “feminine.” (SIDE NOTE: I’m currently thinking of my poor mom on my 4th birthday, desperately running around town to try and find the sole My Little Pony in existence that wasn’t pink or purple but blue. Sorry about that, Mom.)

Bottom line? I’ll take fart jokes and little league over… what is it that girls do? Good Lord, I don’t even know. Playing with non-pink My Little Ponies?

Dax, your mommy and daddy love you so much! We can’t wait to meet you and play with you!

What do you love this week? Is it my kid? I wouldn’t blame you if it was. He’s pretty great!

things i love thursday! (february 9, 2012)

Love is in the air, friends! It’s February, which means Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, so what better time to start really focusing on the things in your life that you love?


  • Stock photos. Muahaha.
  • Music.
  • Collaboration.
  • Creative people.
  • Donated/loaned maternity clothes! Yay cheapness!
  • Sleeping in.
  • Telepathically convincing my husband to make me pancakes in the morning. (No, seriously…)
  • A clean house!
  • Hanging out with Chelsea, Angie, Zander, and baby Gavin!
  • Holding baby Gavin. Awww. So much cute.
  • Singing “Happy Birthday” to Chrissie over the phone!
  • Silly conversations with Chelsea.
  • A long day of music making, chili eating, and football watching with friends.
  • Cheering on my buddy Evan at his first full marathon! He’s a machine.
  • Flat Sunkist.
  • Online gender prediction quizzes. (Looks like it might be a girl, y’all. Not sure I’m convinced yet.)
  • Chick-fil-A for breakfast.
  • A healthy dental check-up! Hooray for no cavities!
  • Fun meetings.
  • Pregnant tweets.
  • Best friends.
  • Cuddles in the morning.
  • Both of the cats now sleep with us all through the night (Hamlet more consistently than Romeo, but still.)
  • Sleep.
  • Cupcakes again.
  • Feeling Durrenbaby move!
  • And, finally… heading to Disney World on our Babymoon!

What do you love this week?

things i love thursday! (january 26, 2012)

Happy Thursday, Diet Coke addicts! We are so close to the weekend I can almost smell it, and it smells like joy and joyness. (Anyone? Charlie the Unicorn? Okay, that was lame.)

At any rate, outdated Internet phenoms aside, here’s why my week was awesome!


  • Listening to music.
  • Making music.
  • Watching my friends make music.
  • Silly songs about silly things.
  • “Christ Jams.”
  • A busy, but fun week.
  • Jokes about red, satin shirts.
  • Nesting with my husband.
  • Helping people who in turn help us.
  • Lane!
  • Birthday celebrations and weird conversations with my friends.
  • Which reminds me: have you ever wondered what crazy things my friends and I say? Well, look no further than here.
  • Name suggestions for Durrenbaby via prayer requests from j-hi students: “I just pray that Durrenbaby stays healthy and strong… and that they name him after me. Amen.”
  • Lunch with Trisha and all the helpful Mom tips she has!
  • Lunch with Chelsea and the fact that she truly gets where I’m coming from.
  • A husband that takes care of me and the house when I’m too tired or too busy working to help.
  • Bonding with coworkers across the country.
  • The frequency of which Weird Al comes on my husband’s iPod.
  • Dance class, complete with 90’s music goodness.
  • Hearing people point out my baby bump. At first it was strange, but now I like it.
  • We got rid of our king size bed because  we couldn’t fit it and a bassinet in our room, so we downgraded to a queen, which sounds bad, but it just means we are that much closer. Aw.
  • Friends who are honest and vulnerable with me.
  • Bubble baths.
  • Admitting I can’t do everything.
  • Feeling valued.
  • Cats sleeping in weird places.
  • Dark chocolate.
  • And, last but certainly not least, sleep.

That’s all for me this week. What do you love?

big news!

As promised yesterday, I’ve got some big news to blog about!

I don’t know if you’ve noticed (you probably haven’t, and that’s okay) but my posts have tapered off in frequency as of late. No, I haven’t totally been a slacker. I’ve just been afraid to blog because I’m so bloody honest and have the worst time keeping secrets.

But I don’t have to keep it a secret any more!

We’re having a baby!

8 Weeks

I am 12 weeks pregnant! As much as I tried to use my hatred for laundry as effective birth control, I am happy to report that I have failed. Dan and I are elated to be expecting our first child this July!

A lot of people asked if I’d be blogging throughout the pregnancy and yes, yes I will. But don’t worry — this blog is not turning into a mommy blog. I know that I’d lose probably the majority of my readership if I did that. Dan and I have actually started a separate blog on which we both post, so if you’d like to check that out, you can do so here:


Thanks for supporting me on this crazy new journey! I imagine my body image blogging is going to become a lot more passionate as I become a lot more round.

Lindsay and Durrenbaby