dax and case.

Not to brag, but I’ve gotten pretty good at caring for babies. Especially the newborn kind.

Nursing. Co-sleeping. Baby-wearing. Eating cold food with one hand. The night watch. The list goes on and on. I am so, so good at this stage.

Which is kind of a problem for me right now, considering I don’t know if I’ll ever experience that stage again.

Over the summer, Dax turned six and Case turned three. (I know. I KNOW.) We’ve been done with nursing and diapers for a very long time. So long, in fact, that I hardly even remember it. Our crib is currently in pieces in our garage and, as much as it pains me to admit it, will soon be put on Craigslist.

I think – though I can’t be sure, as God has plans that I’m not privy to, and the entire Naples debacle is proof that God can drag me into something unexpected at a moment’s notice – that Case is our last baby.

On one hand, it’s extremely exciting. I mean, in just two years we’ll have both of our kids in public school full time which is (AHHH YAAASSSSS) free! Which means the money we set aside each month for childcare could go to WHO KNOWS WHAT!

Similarly, barring any bad dreams or fevers, I can almost always count on a full night’s sleep these days. Not only does this mean I’m well rested, but I’ve been able to start doing the things (running, writing) that I had to give up when I was in the throes of sleep-deprivation.

But there is a very real part of me that is terrified of moving into a new season of parenting. After all, I’m great at babies. I don’t know how I am with preschoolers and school-aged kids. I’m learning this all on the fly, day by day.

A few weeks before Mother’s Day, Isabelle Grace’s personalized stacking rings showed up in my inbox. While I usually don’t ask for anything for Mother’s Day, and I never, EVER ask for jewelry PERIOD (I only wear my wedding rings and a D initial necklace because they, surprise, have meaning) I was feeling particularly emotional about possibly being done having babies. So I got two, one with each of my kid’s names, as a gift to myself. (You’re welcome, me.)

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They are so simple and sweet, and they look so cute together. Just as a set of two. Just like my boys. A cute set of two. And since I’ve been wearing the rings, I’ve made peace with my little twosome. Dax and Case. My two babies. My only two babies.

Unless…

The beauty about these rings is that, in the event that God blesses us with another baby, it’s just so easy to add one more.

But until I know for sure, these two rings serve as a precious reminder to me.

Yes, I AM really good at raising babies. I’ve raised two so far. And now, I get to learn just how good I am at raising preschoolers and elementary schoolers and middle schoolers and high schoolers and college students and young men.

Dax and Case.

* Disclaimer: Isabelle Grace provided these rings to me to try. All words, wrinkly hand photos, and wishy-washy-third-baby feelings are my own. 

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