This is filed under “ones that are hard to write”.
There are so many sad/bad/frustrating things about being several thousand miles away from all my closest friends:
1. Despite being outgoing and outwardly confident all of the time, deep inside I’m unreasonably insecure, so I believe that I’m “out of sight, out of mind.”
2. Like it or not, relationships change when people move away. When you’re not with someone, it’s hard to really engage with them. Even though…
3. Social media makes it a little bit better/mostly worse.
You may recall I underwent a social media fast earlier this year. I wrote about how it was great for my soul and how everyone who’s on social media should do it every now and again and blah blah blah.
But since moving to Naples, I’ve attached myself to social media out of fear of numbers 1 and 2 on that list. By trying to be fully engulfed in Facebook and Twitter and Instagram, I’ve tried so hard to fool myself into thinking that I’m not out of sight or mind and that my relationships aren’t different.
But the bitter pill I’ve had to swallow lately is that I am and they are.
And so social media has — yet again — done little to help me but, instead, all it can to harm me. On Facebook I’m invited to events that I can’t go to and my newsfeed is flooded with pictures of those events that are somehow still happening in my absence. On Instagram I’m seeing photo after photo after photo of people I love doing things with other people I love where I might be if I was still home.
And the green-eyed envy monster wins another one.
It is absolutely crucial to my job to be active on social media so a fast is out of the question. But I will say this — my heart isn’t in a good place right now and maybe if I’m open about it, that’ll allow for space for us to talk about the reality that is social media induced envy.
TELL ME, READERS:
Have you ever seen a picture on Instagram and thought, “Ugh, that person must have the perfect life.”?
Have you ever seen a status update that made you throw up in your mouth a little bit because it was so…just…perfect?
Please tell me I’m not the only one. Let’s be real, here. What do you do to combat these feelings?
fueled by diet coke 
Yes, totally with you, but I had the luxury of leaving social media behind. I left facebook and have regretted it only rarely and mildly. I did “lose” friends, but I tell myself that adults are busy and they don’t not like me anymore; they just aren’t organized/proactive/sympathetic to my loneliness, so they don’t reach out the way I want them to. When we see each other they are still glad to see me. Two recommendations: Beth Moore’s “So Long Insecurity” (with the workbook!) and, cheesy as it may seem, Jason Gray’s wonderful song “Remind Me Who I Am.”
i have been meaning to read that beth moore book! gotta pick it up. thanks for the sacred echo!
You are absolutely not the only one. I think everyone has social media-envy. It’s a definite addiction. I need to try to disconnect – re-reading your post about the fast now.. glad Dax is doing better.. thinking of you! ❤
a good disconnect every once in a while brings you back to center FO SHO. ❤
You are certainly not alone! I have serious “FOMO” (fear of missing out)… And seeing pictures of my friends doing cool things without me sends me into a fit of jealous rage.
The best way I’ve found to combat it is to think of the cool things that YOU are doing, and think that someone, somewhere is looking at YOUR pictures and thinking ‘man, she must have a perfect life’.
oooh good insight! thank you!
Well yes. I follow about 30 something people on instagram. These are the youtubers, bloggers, clothing brands and their models. And yes again, they seem to have a perfect life. But in your case it seems like you are longing for your same old friends, same old company. I will not name it envy. I’d rather call it longing. Longing to be with the ones you love. But I also used to feel a bit envious of my friends whenever they hangout without me. But in time I was able to overcome it and now whenever I see their posts, I’m just plain happy for them. I hope you find peace in this matter too.