This morning while I was getting ready for work, I looked back to the bed to see my husband doing something strange.
He was holding our baby boy upright, while gently pushing on his tummy, and working his legs in a bicycling motion.
“I’m trying to get him to poop,” he explained. “He hasn’t pooped in three days.”
Mind you, Dax wasn’t fussy or anything about his gastrointestinal disposition. He was rather happy, actually. But, concerning this issue, Dan and I were miserable. The kid was farting like he wanted to gas us out. I swear, I thought he had turned against us and was using his own methane to let us know.
After a determined Daddy stuck by him all morning, Dax finally pooped. Not as much as he should have after holding it in for three days, but at least we got some movement going. This will, we believe, encourage more poop later. This is exciting!
Oh, the way your life changes once you become a parent.
You see, Dax needed to poop, no doubt. He just needed a little help from Daddy to work it out. We are not unlike my (almost) four-month-old child in this. Please excuse my “crappy” metaphor and the consequential puns, but this needs to be said.
Sometimes (more often than not, I’d argue) we need people to help us work through our own crap. We might not know we need help, but others around us — those who are close enough to us to “smell” our “farts” — know something’s up. For a while, they may be polite and not say anything. After all, they’re probably just hoping you’ll work it out on your own. And they don’t want to call you out or embarrass you. But other times, if it goes for an extended period of time, they may step in and finally confront you.
I’d really encourage you to get some counseling about this.
Have you talked to anyone about this issue you have?
Get your shiz together already. Jeez.
Someone close to me said that to me recently. And a year ago. And the previous year.
“Lindsay, you should really consider seeing a counselor about the fact that you grew up without a dad.”
Up until now, I’ve just been kind of ignoring it. Hoping it goes away on its own. Letting those around me “smell the farts” — seeing the destructive behaviors and attitudes born out of this gaping void I have in my life.
A couple weeks ago, I went to the doctor for insomnia. I hadn’t slept more than a couple hours a night for seven days and I’d had it. The doctor gave me a prescription for Ambien but, since I was in tears over being so exhausted, he also referred me to a counselor for postpartum depression.
I don’t think I have PPD. I think I have insomnia, like I always have. And I think I was sobbing over the fact that I was so bloody exhausted. But the doctor insisted I see a counselor, so I shrugged my shoulders and went. I thought it might be divine intervention or something. My time was up. It was time to “poop”. This is how the first couple minutes of my first session went:
Counselor: “What brings you in today?”
Me: “Well, honestly, I didn’t sleep for a week so I burst into tears in my doctor’s office and they said I have postpartum depression. I don’t think that’s the case. I mean, maybe? But probably not. So, at any rate, postpartum depression is what ACTUALLY brings me here today but I don’t think we need to talk about that. What we SHOULD talk about is that my dad left me when I was three years old and I think I’ve got some issues surrounding that and I think it’s time I dealt with them.”
Counselor: “Oh. Uh… you’re pretty self-aware.”
Me: “I try to be.”
And so — here I am, admitting to the entire Internet that I’m currently seeing a counselor. I’m letting someone help me work through my crap. I’ve only had one session but I can already tell it’s going to do wonders for my spirit.
Is there something in your life that you need help working through? My advice is just take the plunge. Get the help you need. We can all smell your farts anyway; stop denying it.
10 thoughts on “working through your crap. or, a crappy metaphor.”
A good counselor can do wonders. Good luck honey. Love you!
Love your sense of humor…got lots of giggles from this 🙂 But on a serious note, wish you the best!
You are such a strong woman and I really admire you. I wish I had the strength and self-awareness you have!
“Whoever smelt it dealt it…”
really? you never comment on my blog & THIS is the comment you choose to make?
I think that there is something to be said that the life realities and emotional impact of becoming a mother can really bring these things (your lack of relationship with your dad, the poor relationship I had w/ my mom, etc.) to light. It took me two years before I looked up and realized I needed help, but the help really helped. Don’t give up and know that many more of us than will reply to this and even more of us than will even read this have been or are exactly where you are. Miss you guys tons!
I’m VERY proud of you! Sometimes we think we’ve got it handled until someone points out that we don’t! I see a therapist every 2 weeks, have for what seems like most of my life! It’s never easy dealing with the mess, but the end result is always a healthier you! I’ve spent yrs addressing a lifetime of crap, including parental abandonment and I wonder if I’ll ever get over it! I do know that being aware of what’s going on emotionally and being honest with yourself is a HUGE step in healing! It takes daily reminders from the people closest to me that I’m not the person my past has told me I am! You’re an amazing woman and you’re capable of anything you set your mind to!
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I’m glad you’re so honest in your writing, I think it inspires others, and surely me! I really like your blog 🙂
thank you! 🙂 that means a lot!
keep on keepin’ on.