Can I speak off the cuff for a second? (Psh. Why am I even asking? This is my blog, you guys. I do what I want.)
I’ve been pretty aware of all the ways I suck lately. Mostly, over the past week. I guess that makes sense, what with me going back to work and wrestling with what that means as far as my contribution to my home and family. It stands to reason, I suppose, that in this time of transition I might find myself struggling to focus on what is praiseworthy about myself. (Philippians 4:8.)
The truth is, self-love isn’t something you just achieve one day and then bam, you’re all better. I really wish it were that simple, but the reality is that loving yourself in a society that does its damnedest to point out everything that’s wrong with you takes daily discipline. It takes the strength to wake up every single day and look yourself in the mirror and say, “Hey, Self, you’re all right.”
Unfortunately, with everything that’s been going on in my life as of late (you know, having a kid and all) I haven’t really taken care of myself in that respect. Sure, I make sure I eat every day and try to squeeze a shower in here and there (I washed my hair last night, y’all!) but as far as putting forth the effort it takes to truly, honestly, take care of my self-esteem and consequential mental health, I’m falling behind. And it’s starting to wear on me.
An old issue I’ve struggled with in the past has reared its ugly head recently. The issue? Allowing myself to be loved without doing anything.
I’d thought I’d beat it. I thought that, with the help of this blog and the people with whom I surround myself, I’d finally let that little part of me die. But, since stepping away from all the things I “do” for people in order to focus on my son and my family, I’ve started to feel as though I’m being replaced. Forgotten. Unloved.
While I know that isn’t the case, right now it’s hard to believe it. So, I’ve decided to go ahead and use this blog for what it was originally intended — a tool with which I can learn to love myself daily. I’m going to dust off the old “self-love” warrior training boxing gloves and start a new weekly post series on my blog. I’d like to introduce to you,
lindsay’s friday favorites!
On Fridays, as a discipline, I’m going to post a blog highlighting one thing about myself that I like, that is my “favorite trait” of the week. One thing, I might add, is just ME. Not something I DO. Just something I AM. It may be physical, or not. It may be an item of clothing I bought or a way I did my hair. It might be a book I started reading and the thoughts it provoked within me. I’m not sure yet. But all I know is that I’m going to commit to doing this every Friday to remind myself that I’m valuable just because I am.
I’d like to challenge you, my readers, to do it, too. On my Friday Favorites posts, I want you to comment the things you love about yourself that week. Nothing would make me happier than knowing that my struggles, and the disciplined nature through which I will try to overcome them, might actually be a positive influence in your lives as well.
And so. Starting next Friday, we’re going to do this. We’re going to start to love ourselves, one little blog post at a time.
fueled by diet coke 
love it! oh, and love you too. 🙂
One of my fave verses to remind me that I am worthy of love even though I don’t “do” anything to deserve it is Romans 5:8. God demonstrated His love for us because while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. He didn’t wait until we were “good enough”, in fact, we were as nasty as can be. He died for us just because He IS love. That always makes me go WOW. He loved me even before I gave my heart to Him and cleaned up my act. He loves you that way too and anyone reading this. This may seem elementary to some, but it still blows me away. Dan, Dax and I love you unconditionally also. (((hugs)))
~mom
I love that I had a good hair day today. Plus I was rocking a new scare I bought IN CHICAGO.
Also love this blog, and the completely and utterly normal journey you are on. Love hard, girl. It hurts and it keeps on hurting, but the risk you take and the pinches of pain are worth EVERY FRICKIN BIT.
You’re awesome, because you are. And you’re Dax’s mama. All he knows is that you’re the best mom he’s every had, and you’re enough. You are perfect for him.
i should probably print this comment out & tape it everywhere i look.
i like the way my mouth looks in red lipstick. And i like the way i feel when i wear it.
I currently love (as difficult as it may seem at times) learning about my true self…this time in my life is all about learning to accept everything as it comes…LITERALLY…not controlling anything, not having perfect (or even close to) anything. My life as a mother and wife, homemaker, creative artist, sister, daughter, friend, has been thwarted by joblessness, homelessness, penniless and loneliness..BUT, its been a great lesson, great but painful in many ways….painful in totally letting the universe take the wheel (YIKES!)emotionally riding a roller coaster of worry and sorrow for the things I cannot do….great in the simplicity of just existing ,..breathing …quietly experiencing every minute, quite foreign to me. In the past it was always about doing, being in the groove of greatest efficiency and abundant productivity…now it is about having time to think, write, ponder and even dream….luxuries I am only beginning to acquaint myself with.The self-discovery has been interesting to say the least…it feels so indulgent and restrictive simultaneously. My point, dear Lindsay, (ya, believe it or not there IS one) is that we have to ONLY learn to enjoy,accept and fully experience every moment for what it is…and learning that it is not always about what we can make it. Little Dax will grow up faster than you could ever imagine…try to just relax and enjoy every minute…believe me you WILL miss the crying and diapering and feedings some day…Love you all to bits! XXOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOXOOX….ps…ya this IS really just a comment…not my own blog. : )