When I got married, I felt pressured to turn into the perfect wife — one who cooks gourmet meals, keeps a spotless home, and looks damn good 100% of the time, both in body and fashion — even though that’s not at ALL the person my sweet husband married. My new-found Pinterest addiction and my perusal of countless new and trendy fashion/homemakey blogs have done nothing but worsen that pressure. Have you seen this? There are about a hundred thousand fashion/homemakey blogs out there touting the idea that You, too, can be a fashionista! And a stay at home mom! And a Crafty McCraftsALot! And be perfect at all of those things! Just look how easily I do it with my $3,000 SLR camera!
I think I’m starting to break under this pressure. I’ve regressed. You’ll notice that I’ve stopped trying to blog about my home or food preparations or fashion choices. I’ve retreated into a dark cave of blog-solitude where I merely write about things that piss me off about society versus the things I’d love to work on concerning myself. By doing that, I’ve created an environment where it’s completely safe for me to fail at all of these things without each and every one of you reading about it. But yep, I’m failing. Here’s how:
- Dan does all the cooking and most of the cleaning. Happily, I might add.
- My workout routine has all but vanished since tearing my ACL and becoming pregnant (but hey, the occasional dance class and the weird prenatal yoga DVD I have are at least giving me some peace of mind for the moment. That, and the fact that at 17 weeks I’ve only gained 7 pounds.)
- And my fashion sense? My “style,” if you will? Ha. Well. I wish I could say I have one. But I really don’t. At the moment, for example, I’m wearing brown sandals with a black striped cardigan. Yep. I know this is wrong. But I’m doing it anyway because I just don’t care.
It wasn’t until I began drowning myself in all these trendy blogs and the black hole that is Pinterest that I really became concerned with this. Here’s what’s been going on in my brain:
Crap. I don’t know anything about fashion. I’m not a real girl. I’m not a good wife. And now I’m pregnant! I’m going to be that embarrassing mom! The one who dresses frumpy all the time! My kid is already hating me for this! But why doesn’t it come easily to me? Why don’t I look at things on hangers in stores and put outfits together? Why can’t I do it? Am I deficient? Did I miss out on some lady fashion gene?
It’s sad that I panic about these things while there are children in Rwanda who die before they’re three. But alas, I do. I panic about my appearance so much so that on more than one occasion, I’ve walked into my closet and thumbed through all 100 of my t-shirts and my eyes have welled up with hot tears.
I must look so stupid!
Well. Maybe I do. You know what, though? Maybe it doesn’t matter.
My friend Nathan (who also happens to be a middle-namer like me, shout out!) did an experiment where he wore the same shirt for 365 days. Granted, Nathan isn’t a girl awash in a sea of trendy wife/mom blogs, but he is a person who recognizes the importance society puts on outward appearances. So, without telling many people, he conducted a little social experiment. (You can read about Nathan’s experiment here.)
Spoiler alter: he lived.
Okay. So maybe I’m overreacting a little bit. Maybe the world will continue spinning if I wear t-shirts and jeans. Maybe it’s not the apocalypse of I don’t have the time to curl my hair in the morning or coordinate patterns (is that what you do with patterns? Coordinate them? I don’t even know.) Maybe life will go on, even if I choose to wear the same shirt for 365 days.
Maybe.
fueled by diet coke 
Frumpy is the new chic, I always say!
Embrace the sweats and the flip flops with the oversized Tshirt!
Luckily you look gorgeous in everything you wear!
Love you!
Fashion blogs put a new kind of pressure on me too. I found myself spending more, taking more pics, reading on designers just to keep my head up in the sea of fashion frenzy. I like fashion, but I don’t think it’s good to be consumed by it.
phew, i’m glad it’s not just me! another fashion blogger totally legitimizes this.. thank you!
You know… Personality makes someone better than what they’re wearing. I mean, Angelina Jolie – she’s pretty fashionable, right? But she appears very stuck up (aside from adopting children and stuff which is rather charitable). Maybe I could find a better one. YES! I can. Russell Brand. You know… that dude Katy Perry married. He’s all “fashionable”, but he’s a total tool.
Clothes ain’t nothing. Personality is everythang.
Funny enough I cook 3 meals a day for my husband, do all the cleaning and laundry, maintain a 70lb puppy and make sure my husband is prepared for work every day as well as work. Not gonna lie. I always feel like I’m failing as a wife. Like it shouldn’t be this exhausting, where did those dark circles come from, where is my phone and what am I making for dinner. When I was pregnant I was probably more OCD. Im glad I’m not the only one having those moments. Love your blogs!!
You rock. I like your t-shirt.
Haha, I just wrote (but haven’t published) a post last night about how hard pregnancy and motherhood is on your wardrobe after cleaning out my closet. I’ve never been a fashion person, but I feel bad that I rarely get out of sweats any more. It seems so pointless when I know there will just be mashed veggies and boogers on my shirt by the end of the day : ) So yeah, we are going shopping this weekend for some comfortable and flattering stay-at-home mom clothes. Oh and patterns? They’re for hiding the boogers and veggie stains ; )
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Fab post! Drowning in that feeling of not good enough is for sure not helped by the world of pinterest. I keep telling myself I HAVE to complete some of the projects I have pinned or stop using. It’s a self-esteem suck often to come across so many of the “Hey, I CAN do it all,” blogs when you feel so utterly cannot. I’m preggo with my second and this time has been brutal in the sickness department. Like can’t get off the couch for days or I will fall over, and my dear husband has also taken over most of the cooking/cleaning and taking primary care of our toddler, and I feel utterly useless. If I shower and get out of bed it feels like a win some days. Awesome job, btw, on only gaining 7 lbs at 17 wks! I have been instructed to gain as little as possible (or none if I can manage…really?!) as I was already overweight. I’ve managed to lose some and only gain 3 overall, but it’s not fun.
I think you are fabulous and doing a good job of contributing to the world! Keep it up… Blessings
I have never really been all fashion conscious or anything (I attribute this to having one hippie parent and feeling the need to hate fashion and all that jazz…) but I have grown up and do like to look good now. Not like a crazy homeless person in bright orange cordorouys and a Grateful Dead shirt. But I can’t even LOOK at fashion blogs since I got pregnant. They do nothing but make me feel more hopeless and disgusted with my growing belly (and arse…) and then I end up spending hours on end, crying in the corner of my closet. I think its okay not to be a pregnant fashionista. It might keep you sane.
Girl, I don’t even wear makeup. and don’t know how to put outfits together. But I totally don’t care! I’m happy, my husband’s happy and that’s all I could ask for.
You’re awesome, your husband thinks you’re awesome, and your kid will love you! (until they become a teenager of course!)
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