Over the past week, my husband Dan and I have been in an argument. Don’t worry — it’s not a really bad one, and we’re not going to divorce over it, but it’s one that bears talking about on my blog, I guess, despite it being extremely embarrassing for me.
Dan: “You’re sexy.”
Me: “No, I’m not. I’m awkward and weird.”
Dan: “You’re only awkward and weird because you say you’re awkward and weird. If you said you were sexy, you’d believe it, too.”
Me: “No, because I’m not. I’m awkward and weird. End of story.”
Disclaimer: I apologize to those of you (my mom, my pastors, anyone who happens to interact with Dan and I on a daily basis, etc.) who read this blog and are now barfing in your mouths over my husband calling me sexy. Just mentally change the word to “awesome” or “smart” or “really good at everything” or something in order to ease your discomfort.
The result of this argument is never me feeling sexy. If anything, I feel worse — that is, less sexy and more awkwardly weird — than I did previously. Our arguments typically make my opinion (whether it’s wrong or not) stronger, and, presumably, Dan’s as well. And then, the following morning, I get out of bed and look in the mirror (ugh, stupid mirrors) and cringe at how strange and unsexy I am.
TODAY’S SELF-LOVE TIP: BEWARE OF SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECIES.
It’s no secret that the more we tell ourselves we are something, the more likely it is to come true (at least to us.) The more often we look in the mirror and say to ourselves, “I’m not pretty, I’m ugly,” or, “I’m not smart, I’m stupid,” etc., the harder it will be for us to believe anything else.
But the good news about this is that it works the opposite way, too. Could you imagine what your days would be like if you woke up every morning and looked at your reflection and said something like, “I am intelligent. I am talented. I am beautiful. I am loved.”? I imagine that, though strange at first, it would dramatically change things over time.
So you know what I did?
I painted my nails red. And put on some cute underwear. And, this morning, I looked in the mirror and thought to myself, I am sexy. Just saying it made me feel a little bit sexier. Not totally sexy and not not awkward and weird, mind you, but a baby step in the right direction, I reckon.
Let’s try this together, shall we? While I work on being sexy, how do you want to see yourself? What self-fulfilling prophecies do you want to come true about yourself?