Photo Credit: Ashley Poole Photography

What could I possibly have to write to my wife’s readers? She’s the self-love warrior. She’s the one pursuing domestic diva status. She’s the one that fights against the evils of a waffling Victoria’s Secret ad campaign and against a society that markets “diet” things mostly to perfectly proportional women. She’s the one who hogties the lies of a Photoshop-addicted “beauty” industry like Wonder Woman with her lasso of truth.

I’m just the husband. What do I matter?

Today Lindsay and I had lunch with a friend who wanted advice on how to help another friend of his through a time of self-doubt. He said that Lindsay’s perspective matters because she’s been through something like it, and he said that my perspective matters because I was there to help and support.

“Help” and “support.” That’s about all the advice I have to offer in this post.

Lindsay’s journey over the three years we’ve been together (half of that time, married) has been nothing short of epic. She has gone from a college girl who thought all she had to offer men was her body to a woman who fights everyday to believe the truth that she is beautiful and valuable simply because of who she is, not what she does.

And that journey has mostly been hers. If awards were being handed out, she’d be nominated for Best Actress, and I might be lucky enough to get a nod for Best Supporting Actor. (And, let’s not forget, God would be the landslide winner in Best Original Screenplay for Lindsay’s Life.)

If I have played any role in Lindsay’s (continuing) transformation, it’s that I’ve helped her by confronting her with the truth and supported her in her “Lindsayness.” Though I haven’t been anything near perfect in these pursuits, I think Lindsay would agree that everyone who takes up the fight against an oppressive, misogynistic society needs a strong support system.

Every day, the monster fights; some days, it wins. That can be quite exhausting, and I know that my role is to show Lindsay how much I love her for who she is: her curves, her soft skin, her beautiful blue eyes, her determination to run a half-marathon, her humor, her smile, etc., etc. etc.

On the days when my wife wants to give in to the pressure to lose too much weight, to be a size 00, to wear too much make-up (which is “any,” in my opinion), or to be “Playboy perfect,” I have to tell her—and sometimes rather aggresively—a resounding “no.” I have to say to her that that is not what I want, that is not what God wants, and none of that is necessary for her to be worthy of anyone’s love.

Lindsay has picked a fight with a slew of relentless lies about her, her womanhood, and her sexuality. These lies don’t get tired, but she does. And that’s why she needs help and support.the importance of support.

My hope is that you, her readers, will join Lindsay in this noble fight and prepare for the hard days by finding someone to help support you with resilient love.

I’m not perfect, but I believe in my wife, and I believe in anyone else who is smart enough to fight these lies!