the perfect wife?

It’s not anyone’s fault but my own, but since getting married nine months ago I’ve created some sort of perfect wife criteria that I’m a slave to. The standard to which I now compare myself goes a little something like this: 5’7″, tan, 100 lbs, constantly working out, amazing cook, incredible decorator, frequent entertainer, immaculate housekeeper, who never gets angry, and is a GODDESS in the sack. Kind of like this:

at your service.

But my harsh reality is this: a girl who is 5’5.5″, not-so-tan, wayyyyyy more than 100 lbs, a horrible cook, much too busy (or lazy?) to clean, who gets frustrated and agitated and whiny and pissy and hormonal on a weekly basis.

wah wah wahhhh.

I’m trying lots of different things in my ongoing quest to attain my unattainable standard of kick-ass-wifedom. Firstly, I’ve reached out to a few friends to try and learn how to cook. As delicious as my staples are (i.e. Kraft macaroni and cheese, instant rice with butter and salt, and canned soup) one can only subject one’s husband to them so many times in a healthy marriage.

Sunday night Dan and I went over to our friend Randy’s house and he and I tag-teamed a delicious oil-based pasta with chicken, bell peppers, onions, asparagus, sundried tomatoes, roma tomatoes, and feta cheese. I wish I would have taken a picture for you. But just use your imagination. We boiled the pasta in half water half vegetable broth with a sprinkle of thyme, which is something I’ve never even considered when boiling pasta. The best I’ve done before is add oil and salt. Bleh. The boiling concoction gave the noodles so much flavor that I could have just eaten them by themselves and been satisfied. We stir-fried the veggies (while we baked the chicken with onions) with oil, minced garlic (I MINCED GARLIC!) and cooking sherry for 25ish minutes, and added in the chicken when it was done baking.

Then we threw it all together in a big pot with the pasta, added the roma tomatoes and the feta on top, and ate and ate and ate.


Randy and I will continue our cooking classes. Next up? Salmon. Stay tuned.

Tonight, ALL BY MYSELF, I am taking a shot at marinated chicken. I took two frozen chicken breasts, put them in tin foil and doused them with zesty italian dressing. I folded the foil all up into tight little chickenfoilpouches and put them in the fridge to thaw. Tonight, I will bake the chicken, and I’ll let you know how that goes. My friend Kathleen (who happens to be an amazing cook and one of those women who I feel effortlessly blows the almighty kick-ass-wife away) and I are going to tackle some recipes as well. I’m excited, but also very scared. This experiment is going to be like watching a newborn baby learn how to tie its mother’s shoes. Not impossible, but HIGHLY improbable.

For those of you who were concerned, I don’t plan on blogging about my quest to become a goddess in the sack. Just FYI.

13 thoughts on “the perfect wife?

  1. I know you can do it. I went from nothing to something when it came to my cooking ability (at least… This is what John tells me). I’m so happy you have such wonderful, caring, selfless friends!

    I’ll keep reading if you keep writing! You’re a wonderful blogger!

    Love from your friendly neighbourhood Canadian,


  2. I think your perfect wife standards can suck it. (lol) you are great the way you are already or your husband wouldn’t have wanted to spend the rest of his life with you

    I appreciate the effort to try and learn to cook better… not only for Dan but for yourself too. It can be really rewarding to cook for others.

    I just got a really nifty cookbook for a grad present and I would love to come share it with you… maybe we can get together one night and I’ll come over and we can cook something out of it! I never work wednesday nights…. 🙂


  3. Pingback: the foodie diaries: vol. 1 « ramblings of a twentysomething journalist.

  4. Pingback: stressed about not being stressed. « adventures in domestication.

  5. Pingback: on hot baths, spontaneous sushi dates, and letting life happen. « adventures in domestication.

  6. Pingback: thankful, but S.A.D. « fueled by diet coke

  7. Pingback: on waffles and the reigning christmas champion. « fueled by diet coke

  8. Pingback: thanks for a great year! « fueled by diet coke

  9. Pingback: the importance of support. « fueled by diet coke

  10. Pingback: a shirt a day keeps the drama away. | fueled by diet coke

  11. Pingback: naked and unashamed. | fueled by diet coke

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s