Monthly Archives: September 2013

what i noticed for nora: night.

Even though, according to the calendar, the rainy summer season is over, those of us in south Florida are still being held down by some seriously oppressive weather. The rain has been persistent and unforgiving, leaving many areas around saturated at best and flooded out at worst. And the heat hasn’t relented much either, turning our home into an unbearable sauna. Because of this, my heart aches for the cooler air of Tallahassee, the orange in the leaves, the warm coffees… while my spirit stands by, sweating bullets.

And then when I just can’t take sweating through another shirt a really old guy in a Bentley with a Pennsylvania license plate tries to run my baby and me over in the Whole Foods parking lot and I just have to laugh so I don’t scream.

Sometimes (like right now, for example) Dan will take Dax and let me go out and about on my own, with my lap top and some books and my journal, to let me have some time to myself to explore this new-to-us town without corralling a tiny, adorable little human who loves to climb all over me and sign, MILK PLEASE MILK PLEASE PLEASE MILK MILK PLEASE.

A few weeks ago, during one of my little outings, I went to the nearest coffee shop after dinner. While I waited in line for my latte, I looked around the room to spot a suitable place to set up shop. Most of the best places inside were taken, but all of the outdoor tables were open. I cringed at the thought of sitting outside but decided to bite the bullet for the sake of alone-ness.

Oh how glad I was to do so!

night

 

Sitting out in the open, I was pleased to find that when the sun goes to bed, it takes with it most of the stifling heat and humidity of the day to make room for silent heat lightning, cooler temperatures, and a soft breeze.

The thing about where I live is that once you’ve noticed a few key things — sunsets, beaches, palm trees — there really isn’t much else. It’s like God just CTRL C CTRL V’d all down this coast. That isn’t a bad thing, by any means. I mean how much better can life get? It just makes writing a column like this a bit more challenging.

Either way, something about nightfall transforms this place. It’s like when the sun sets, it hits a giant reset button. The hot, sticky, wet day we’ve suffered through is over and done with and we can finally exhale. With the drop in temperature, evaporation of moisture, and a duller hum, everything seems a bit more human. A little more what I’m used to.

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things i love thursday! (september 19, 2013)

If you’re thankful and you know it, write a blog…

nosering

THINGS I LOVE THIS WEEK:

  • Dax has been a milestone-hitting machine lately! Just this week alone he’s done all of the following:
    - cut another tooth
    - learned how to sign, “more” and “please”, bringing his sign language vocabulary up to three words
    - said, “Mama” when I’ve asked him what my name was
    - took his first steps
    - made me cry tears of pride
  • Playing acoustic pianos.
  • Impromptu music meetings.
  • Productive iMessage meetings.
  • The words, “I forgive you.”
  • New clothes.
  • Bringing Dax by the office and letting all my friends play with him instead of doing work. You’re welcome, guys!
  • I started a seminary class and it’s really interesting! Yay!
  • Catching up with my cousin Brian on the phone. (It’s his birthday tomorrow, by the way, so send him thousands of presents, Internet.)
  • Going to Starbucks and NOT ordering a pumpkin spice latte because LOOK AT THE CALENDAR GUYS IT’S NOT FALL UNTIL SUNDAY SO SLOW YOUR ROLL OKAY?!
  • Unexpected two-day weekends! YAY! (Hashtag ministry problems.)
  • Tickle fights with Dax.
  • And Dan.
  • Getting texts from friends with pictures of famous people who they think look like me. WELL THANK YOU!
  • Memes.
  • Alone time.
  • Catching up with Jessica!
  • “St. Elmo’s Fire”.
  • My nose hoop.
  • Miracle naps.
  • Having a son that lets us sleep in till 9, and sometimes 10!
  • Being a Hufflepuff.
  • Book clubs with my Tallahassee friends. (Holla back, Skype.)
  • Middle schoolers and high schoolers. They just get me.
  • Because I’m perpetually 12.

What do you love this week?

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you don’t have to defend yourself.

Lately I’ve noticed a lot of my friends posting articles on Facebook titled things like, Reasons Why It’s Okay That I’m a Working Mom, or, I Didn’t Go To College and That’s Okay, or, Why Being in My Twenties and Not Married or With Children is THE BEST. (By the way, don’t go Googling those titles. They’re not the ACTUAL titles. I didn’t want to cite the real articles because that’s not the point.)

I have read a couple (particularly the ones that validated my own personal life choices/position in life) and I have rolled my eyes at some of them (particularly the ones that went against my own personal life choices).

The most recent one I came across was about how being my age and having no kids or no husband was TOTALLY OKAY and how the writer was sick of the expectation that, just because of her age, she should be sporting a gold wedding band and a diaper bag. And it made my stomach sink a little bit because as I was reading it I felt a little bit self-concsious because I am.

holdhand

My knee-jerk reaction was to post a blog that was all, Hey! I’m married and have a baby at 27 and you know what? It’s not only OKAY but it’s also GREAT and AWESOME and I LOVE IT but then I stopped myself and thought…

I don’t have to defend myself.

And neither do you.

All of these articles are floating around to serve one of two purposes: 1. to validate or 2. to defend. But either way, they all tend to perpetuate the idea that you are only worth what you do/don’t do/choose/don’t choose. 

So I’m here to tell you something else.

Whether you went to college or didn’t, graduated high school or didn’t, got married or haven’t, got divorced or haven’t, have kids or don’t want kids, homeschool or don’t, are vegan or aren’t, love something or hate it… whether you think you’re “there” yet or you know you’re not, it doesn’t matter.

You don’t have to defend yourself. Because you are you, and that is enough.

So let that be enough.

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a little update with a silly picture.

Hello.

I. Am. Exhausted.

I’ve been staring at this computer screen for way too long trying to think of something to blog about but honestly, I’m bone dry. Between working, watching Dax, and starting a seminary class (hold back your LOLS people) I’m toast.

So here’s what you need to know about my life at present:

1. I can’t stay awake in meetings. Just can’t. But wouldn’t you know it, I can’t fall asleep at a reasonable hour at night, either.

2. Being a work-from-home mom is so wonderful but so very tough at the same time. It’s hard to draw hard boundaries between work time and mom time. Also, I usually do all my work during Dax’s naps which leaves zero time to actually clean the house which is also part of my “job” I guess. Oops. Sorry, Dan. Hope you like wrinkled clothes and dirty feet because HEYYYY.

3. I’ve mentioned this before but Dan goes out of town a lot now. Maybe it’s my own personal exhaustion (and undoubtedly a hint of jealousy since a tiny human doesn’t heavily depend on his body for food making it easy for him to leave for several days at a time and impossible for me to do the same) but I’m extra whiney about it lately. When the alarm clock goes off in the morning I all but throw a tantrum that even our baby would find embarrassing. But them’s the breaks, I s’pose.

4. My mom came to visit this weekend (since Dan was gone again) and we got to talking about what life was like when I was a baby. And I gotta admit, I’m kind of envious. Sure, life now is great because I can plaster my Facebook page with pictures of my baby (assuming everyone on my friend list gives a rip) but at the same time, 30 years ago, when MY mom was doing this, she kind of had an advantage. For instance, if she took me to my pediatrician, for example, and said pediatrician told HER that I wasn’t eating enough vegetables and was way too heavy for my age and should already be walking, she could just go home and say, “Okay, we’ll try lots of different things to force-feed Lindsay vegetables and get her to walk soon and if not, it’s okay!” But when that happened to me and Dax with our new pediatrician (oh yeah, that happened) I came home to a Facebook newsfeed and Instagram feed filled with babies Dax’s age who all seem to be walking, talking, and doing cartwheels all while wolfing down bowls of spinach. WELL OKAY THEN.

5. Sometimes, the way my hair is styled plus the ungodly heat and humidity of south Florida, makes me kind of look like Garth Algar. Soooo you’re welcome, Internet!

garthlindsay

 

And now you’re caught up! Please excuse me while I faceplant.

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things i love thursday! (september 5, 2013)

Things have been so nuts! Dan is getting ready to head out of town AGAIN, and we just launched all of our fall programs at church, so things be cray cray around the Durrenberger house. (I HAVE been blogging, by the way. Check it out over HERE please!)

But it’s Thursday and I have so much to be grateful for. And SO!

dax_bookshelf

THINGS I LOVE THIS WEEK:

  • FSU FOOTBALL IS BACK and dang, our quarterback looks good!
  • There is a Seminoles club in Naples! Yay!
  • Beer.
  • The above picture — Dax looks just like me/my brother at this age. So fun! (And no, before you ask, he isn’t walking yet. But so soon!)
  • Sleeping in. (WHAT???!!!! WITH A BABY???!! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!)
  • Frappucinos.
  • When Dan and I just happen to randomly wake up at the same time in the middle of the night.
  • Teaching Dax how to blow kisses and clap.
  • Reading.
  • New music from two Cases! (Neko and Eric)
  • Side note: no one makes the F-word sound as beautiful as Neko does.
  • New music from Libby!
  • Taking Dax to the park and letting him experience grass and dirt on his little boy body.
  • Sharing Daddy’s glasses.
  • Big, gourmet burgers ON THE CHEAP.
  • Old dudes wearing shirts that just say, “Naples.”
  • Quiet times in coffee shops.
  • Learning new songs on the piano. Just ’cause.
  • Being impractical with my spending money. Finally. (Hence, new music and new piano books.)
  • Mom is coming to visit this weekend!
  • Random strangers coming up and telling me how beautiful my baby is, particularly “his” blue eyes. (To which I reply, “Actually, they’re mine.”)
  • Secret blog posts by my friends.
  • Hugs from middle schoolers and high schoolers.
  • Getting to volunteer in student ministry again.
  • Being able to encourage a brand new mom at Publix. She was shopping with her mom and ogling Dax sitting in my cart and saying, “How do you shop without help?” I looked at her with her six-week-old boy in a carseat in the big part of the cart and said, “BABYWEARING. Also, having a 13-month-old who can hold his body and head up on his own helps a lot. It gets better, I promise!” (I love love LOVE encouraging new moms because I believe they are the ones on earth that need it most.)
  • Xylophones.
  • Watching Dax play with babies his age at church. So cute.
  • Rain at naptime.
  • And finally… beer again because duh.

What do you love this week?

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