the worst tuesday.

Summer is winding down and fall is supposedly creeping in but I can’t feel it because it’s still hot as crap and the rain still won’t stop and I can’t differentiate my Mondays from my Thursdays or my Saturdays because everything is always the same.

Except this past Tuesday. Tuesday was vastly different from any other day of my life.

Late Monday, I noticed that Dax was running a bit of a fever. I never actually took his temperature, but I could feel that he was warm to the touch. Apart from that, he was acting completely normal; he was playing happily, sleeping fine, not coughing, not sniffling, not anything out of the ordinary. So I chalked the fever up to teething and just gave him Tylenol sporadically and thought nothing of it.

When I came home from work on Tuesday (thankfully a half hour earlier than I normally come home on Tuesdays) I found him lethargically lying belly-up on our babysitter’s chest.

Jeez, I thought. These 12-month molars must be brutal. 

I took him from the sitter, handed her a check, and said goodbye. I then took Dax into his nursery to nurse him and put him down for a nap. When we sat in the rocking chair, he nursed for maybe thirty seconds before stopping suddenly and throwing his head back.

His eyes rolled back and he started to shake and stopped breathing and it was a seizure.

The next few minutes were a blur of me screaming uncontrollably into his lifeless, purple face, splashing water on his body, crumpling to the floor and clumsily dialing 9-1-1, scream-sobbing into the receiver that MY TINY LITTLE BABY BOY IS HAVING A SEIZURE MA’AM AND HE IS ONLY ONE YEAR OLD AND PLEASE GOD CAN SOMEONE HELP ME HE’S NOT BREATHING DID YOU SAY SOMEONE IS COMING WELL WHERE ARE THEY HOW MUCH LONGER PLEASE HELP ME I AM SO SCARED PLEASE.

And then suddenly my house was flooded with upwards of ten men and women in different uniforms — EMS, firefighters, police officers — all trying to simultaneously calm me down and take care of Dax who, by that point, had stopped seizing and was draped across my chest in a collapsed heap of laborious breaths and pained sighs.

An ambulance ride, ER admittance, flu swab, chest x-ray, and long chunk of waiting around later, we found out that Dax came down with some virus (probably roseola) which caused him to have that high fever. The sudden temperature spike in his body triggered a febrile seizure.

Thankfully these seizures don’t cause any injury to the brain or the child — they’re just terrifying as hell for anyone, particularly a parent, who happens to be present.

And so, I learned the hard way that (until he’s older than 5) anytime I sense that Dax may be getting a fever, I have to be incredibly aggressive in treating it to avoid this happening again.

hospitaldax

As terrible as this whole experience was, there were some surprising bright spots. The first was in the form of a community — a new one — that wasted no time in showing us love. Three friends came to visit us in the hospital (two of which brought us food), and another friend came to check on us the following day. Not to mention the flood of prayers that washed over us by the way of texts, phone calls, and Facebook messages.

The second good thing to come of this was a healthy dose of perspective. Before I left for work that morning, I was freaking out about our house being a mess for the babysitter. I was running about like a chicken with its head cut off trying to straighten up and clean up and even as I was driving away I was mentally kicking myself for not having enough time to do the dishes. Because I was nursing when Dax began to seize, I was basically naked when the emergency team showed up at my house. I couldn’t have given two sheets about the fact that I was bearing it all (or that my house was messy) while a bunch of firefighters and paramedics did a life-saving dance around me. All I cared about was my baby and whether or not he was going to be okay.

Even though he’s technically still contagious, today you can hardly tell Dax is sick at all, let alone that he just had a freaking seizure. He’s eating a bit more today, playing happily, and sleeping great.

And I am worn a bit ragged but so very grateful.

happydax

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25 Comments

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25 responses to “the worst tuesday.

  1. mom

    You’re a great mommy, Lins. God bless you and Dax and Dan!
    Praying for complete recovery for our little man “Strawberry Dax”. I can’t help calling him that after seeing the video of him dressed in red, extremely delighted to see mommy handing him a strawberry! :-)
    ~Mom

  2. Elizdabest

    Oh the tears, mamma! Overwhelmed, and he’s not even my kid, I cannot imagine. BUT… I’m so glad to hear that Leader Bear is on the mend and that you were showered with love and support.

  3. I can’t even imagine. I’m so glad he’s on the mend

  4. Maria

    Glad everybody’s okay!

  5. Wow! How terrifying! I appreciate that you somehow found a bright spot in that dark day- gaining a better perspective of the big picture. What a good reminder. I’m so glad your baby is ok. :)

    • thank you! i try REALLY HARD to see the good/what i can learn from horrible experiences. i’m not really great at it but on the days i do it, it makes me that much more sane :)

  6. Sounds terrifying. I am so glad he is okay.

  7. This made me cry. The terrifying moments you went through do not bear thinking about.
    I’m so pleased Dax is on the mend x

  8. Blessings on you both and may you never have to face this again. I’m so glad it turned out OK and that you felt the love and support surrounding you when you needed it. Take care:-)

  9. I cannot imagine going through that. I’m SO glad your little buddy is ok!

  10. Wow! What a story. I am so glad that he is okay. He won’t even remember that horrible Tuesday, but you will never forget it.

  11. Scho

    So glad it’s all behind you. I’ve been sending you guys all the love I know you need for this. Hugs and kisses for all the Durrenburgers.

  12. I’ve been following your blog since I joined WP about a month ago — took a double take on the headline when I realized this was you. So glad your precious little one is ok. What a scare! Love what you shared about community, perspective and prayers. Blessings…

  13. So glad your little boy is ok…I have a 9 month old and I can’t imagine how scary that must have been! (PS-I’ve been following your blog for a couple months via WP’s recommendation :)

  14. Pingback: things i love thursday! (august 22, 2013) | fueled by diet coke

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