Monthly Archives: March 2013

things i love thursday! (march 28, 2013)

How sad is this? I know I have a much longer list but, because I haven’t Instagrammed anything, I can’t really remember what I’ve been up to. Ooof.

Okay. Point 1 for Instagram. (I also don’t have a picture to put on this post either. Drat. Point 2.)

Here we go!

THINGS THAT MADE ME SMILE RECENTLY:

  • Serendipitous lunches with old friends and new. 
  • Quoting “Clueless” in a job interview and actually having it go over well.
  • Music. Always music. Playing it, listening to it, living in a world in which it exists.
  • Seeing my little boy in an adorable baby-sized suit.
  • Reading “emerged” as “ermahgerd”.
  • Also getting lots of “ermahgerd” texts from several different people.
  • Video chats.
  • Road trips and the terrible food you eat on road trips.
  • Visiting one of my best friends, Becky!
  • Finally meeting cranky Dobby and watching him curl up into a ball! (He’s a hedgehog.)
  • Coffee.
  • New hair!
  • Playing games with a youth group again.
  • Hearing that a particular person wants to get baptized. By my husband.
  • GChat.
  • Fanta and Coke in glass bottles.
  • Stuffed duckies and new pacifiers.
  • Taking my little man out for special outings all by ourselves.
  • Surprise babysitters.
  • Playing a real piano.
  • Debates over worship songs being good or not. (“Revelation Song” is terrible. I don’t care what you say. I stand by it.)
  • Playing “dropsies” in Starbucks.
  • Watching Dax flirt with basically everyone.
  • Cubicle dance parties — in front of the giant windows.
  • Soy lattes.
  • Smoothie lunch dates.
  • The Uno app.
  • Morning snuggles.
  • Gearing up for my cousin’s wedding!

What do you love this week?

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if a tree falls in the woods and you don’t tweet about it…

I know. I need to blog. But what’s a blog? I don’t even know. I’ve been spending so much time pretending the Internet doesn’t exist that I don’t even remember how to interact with it anymore. I haven’t Facebooked, Tweeted, or Instagrammed anything in weeks. What am I doing? Where am I going? I have no direction in life!

And this is what befalls a blogger who goes on a social media fast.

Can’t I just tap dance for you? I’m really good at it. Promise. Took lessons for so many years.

Speaking of lessons, here’s something I’m slowly learning on this social media fast.

You know those people who put pictures of their food on Instagram? Or post a Facebook status about finally being able to fit into their skinny jeans? Or tweet about getting a promotion? 

I’m not so far removed from the social sphere that I don’t understand the appeal of doing any of those things. Anyone who follows me on Instagram knows I love me some food (but not as much as my baby). But I think now that I’ve stepped back a bit, I have a better grip on the why behind this behavior.

Before I go on, I’d just like to dust my shoulders off and say that I do have a degree in mass communication with a minor in psychology from a Florida state school so I obviously know what I’m talking about to an extent. (I also know which bars you should go to and on which nights in order to get the highest volume of alcohol for the lowest amount of cash.)

The old adage asks the question, “If a tree falls in the woods, does it make a sound?” I’d argue that today the question is, “If you do something in life but don’t tweet about it, did it really happen?”

While I don’t know for sure if this is the root of our Internet addiction and our need to be virtually affirmed, I definitely know that our culture does suggest that if it isn’t on social media, it isn’t real.

How sad.

That’s why when you tell your best friend that you’ve started seeing someone, she immediately asks why it isn’t “Facebook official” yet. Or why you upload a picture of your baby smiling to Instagram (but not a picture of them screaming). Or why the first thing you do when your alarm goes off in the morning is sleepily scour your Twitter feed.

I’ve been struggling a lot with this. Inner parts of my being are wracked with guilt over the fact that only a handful of people (those who I can show it to in person) have seen my baby say “dada” because I haven’t uploaded the video to Facebook. So, like, what if no one believes me? Or cares? I can’t gauge the world’s affirmation of my personal life because no one can like or comment on this video! It’s terrible!

I don’t think I’m ready to come back just yet. But I’m really enjoying re-learning how to process things and experience life in private.

That said, if you’re struggling with being affirmed by trolls on the Internet, just look at this gif.

i_can_typing-26439GOD IT JUST GETS ME EVERY TIME! I CAN’T STOP LOLLING RIGHT NOW.

 

 

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Filed under commentaries, life, psychology, rants, the media

update from the dark.

Oh hey, there. I know. It’s been quiet around here. Here’s why.

One week ago, I read this disturbing article about how the Internet — social media in particular — is making us crazy. It really freaked me out. It gave me so much anxiety that I couldn’t sleep.

So I decided to go on an indefinite social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) fast. Not just a “fast”, either. Like I legitimately deleted the apps from my iPhone and EVERYTHING. (Crazy, right? My smart phone is pretty dumb at this point. Unless you give some cred to the Uno app which, by the way, is super duper and I’m so glad I spent 99 cents on it!)

It’s not that Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are inherently bad, perse. That’s not what I’m saying and I don’t think that’s what the article is saying. But it did raise a lot of harrowing truths about our society’s obsession with and actual addiction to these sites and the Internet as a whole.

I’ve been on this “cleanse” for about a week and already I see how I was basically tethered to social media. So many times in the first 24 hours of this fast I found myself mindlessly reaching for my phone, unlocking the screen… only to come to and realize that — oh yeah — I have nothing to look at. I “tried” to tweet FOUR TIMES while I was at the farmers market with my son. Four. Times.

Yikes. What in the name of all things holy would I need to tweet at 9am on a Saturday outing with my baby? That the carrots look extra orange today? The yellow squash is just a tad squishy for my taste? That the Maya Wrap is still ruling our world at 8 months? That there is a Girl Scout cookie booth set up for the first time? (Okay, that one almost deserved a tweet. Also I did buy Thin Mints and Trefoils, obviously.)

It’s been quite the sobering experience. But also liberating. I feel like I’m finally back in touch with reality.

That said, this week has been one full of things that are actually kind of social media worthy. So, without further ado:

HERE IS A LIST OF THINGS I’VE BEEN DYING TO TWINSTABOOK (Twitter-Instagram-Facebook) ALL WEEK:

1. my son’s milestones.

Well, this week was fit for the baby book, y’all.

  • FIRST WORD. Yep, this is a biggie. Dax said his first word just hours after I went on my social sabbatical. Of course. His first word was “dada” and everything is dada right now. Dada is dada, of course. But I am also dada. Also the pacifier. Also food. Also you. Yes, you reading this. You are dada, no paternity test required.
  • We are fitting him for his first suit! He’s the ring bearer in my cousin’s wedding next week. You guys. Wait until you see. You will pass out from the cuteness.
  • FOURTH TOOTH. There are four little chompers in that mouth now. In case you are wondering, we are still breastfeeding like champs and he doesn’t bite. * phew *
  • EIGHT MONTHS OLD. Ack. Time. Where are you going?!

8 months

2. i got straight bangs. 

Y’all. I haven’t had bangs like this since I was SEVEN. That is literally TWENTY YEARS AGO. Yikes. Anyway, my normal stylist is on maternity leave for another month but I had some serious roots showing and am in a wedding next week. So I saw my other friend and let her run wild on my head, which meant straight bangs and ombre color. Here is the before/after photo.

before_after

3. we’ve got some prospects.

We’ve been doing a lot of interviewing in central (and even south?) Florida, so I think we might not actually be homeless at the end of April. Hooray!

4. i’m learning photography.

I’m taking an online photography certification course which is, eh, okay I guess. Not because I want to be a professional photographer by any means but because I have a kick-butt DSLR that I’ve been treating like a point-and-shoot and I’m just over it. The whole point of me shelling out the cash for a DSLR was so I could take good pictures of my baby and not fork over money to legit photographers. Sorry for the honesty, y’all but we broke folks GOTTA BRING THE HUSTLE.

So. What’s the biggest thing I’ve learned from this photography class?

It’s freaking hard, okay. So much more difficult than just having a nice camera. Pat a photographer on the back next time you see one. Respect.

Alright, so, now you’re caught up! Back to your regularly scheduled Internet addiction.

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Filed under baby love, commentaries, life, motherhood

words to live by: beth stoddard.

Oh, snap. A WTLB by a good friend.

sunrise

I want to release this ridiculous notion that to be a successful feminist – or woman – or pastor – or friend – I must fix what is broken. I want my first response to be respect, born of love and listening and honor of every person’s journey. Learn to live in the midst of the mess. See the beauty in the broken…

- Beth Stoddard

Embrace the mess, friends. Only in the midst of brokenness can we find true healing.  I can say that because I’ve seen it.

Have a messy weekend.

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Filed under psychology, transformation, words to live by

things i love thursday! (march 14, 2013)

Happy 30th birthday, Taylor Hanson! My gift to you is a THINGS I LOVE THURSDAY list that has nothing to do with me being married to your little brother and mothering a thousand little Hansons myself.

Enjoy!

playdate

THINGS THAT MADE ME SMILE THIS WEEK:

  • Making music with my friends, even when temperamental sound systems make it a wee bit difficult.
  • Having friends over for beers and creative brainstorming sessions.
  • Dax’s first play date in the park with Oliver!
  • Hearing him giggle on the swings.
  • Dancing in the kitchen. You know. BY MYSELF.
  • Long afternoon naps (for both me and the boy).
  • Getting my husband back after his weekend youth retreat.
  • Seeing pictures and videos from said retreat.
  • Video chatting Brian and Katie and going over their wedding (eep!) which Dan is officiating in T MINUS SIXTEEN DAYS!
  • Eating out.
  • But also eating in.
  • Raspberry beer!
  • Getting a text from a friend saying he ordered me business cards BECAUSE…
  • … all I do is win.
  • Working from home with my little man.
  • My last counseling appointment.
  • Peeps.
  • Chocolate glazed donut flavored coffee. #zomg
  • Bringing my man soup to make him feel better.
  • INBOX ZERO!
  • Encouraging fellow moms.
  • Top Model.
  • Lunch with Shana (and RICK)!
  • The way Dan makes Dax giggle.
  • Prospects for the future.
  • Wedding planning with the bestie.
  • Taking in the sweet sights and sounds of this town before it is mine no longer.

What do you love this week? (Side note: teenage me is crying alone in her room right now because she has a feeling she doesn’t end up with Zac Hanson in the end but HEY — this is way better.)

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three things i learned from counseling.

I just left my last counseling appointment.

Mind you, this is only my last counseling appointment in this season of life with this particular counselor. My counseling journey isn’t over, by any means. But for now, as of 5PM today, this chapter of my journey has come to a close.

So. What did I glean from the past few months of counseling? A couple things. Let me share them with you! Sharing is caring, after all… especially when mental health is at stake.

1. I am not broken.

I’ve written about this before, but it deserves a second mention because it is so important. A lot of people associate counseling or therapy with the notion that you are in need of “fixing”. Sometimes, I guess that could be the case. But for me, it isn’t. And hasn’t been. I am not broken. I just need help processing things in a constructive and objective way.

2. I’m pretty well adjusted even though, by all accounts, I shouldn’t be.

According to my counselor, my upbringing should have yielded me a permanent residence within an insane asylum with my very own padded room and straight-jacket wardrobe. However, in the words of Dr. Maki, I’m “really put together”. Holla at your healthy boo.

3. Being open and honest about what struggles I have has been a huge asset.

I’ve said it a hundred times and I’ll say it again — no one, including you, benefits from you hiding your hurts. Opening up about the things I’ve dealt with, to not only counselors but also mentors and friends, has been more effective in my growth and health than anything else. And yes, that includes medicinal treatment.

So. I’ll say it again. If you are considering counseling but are afraid of any stigmas attached, take it from me: do it. See a counselor. Invite an unbiased professional into your life to help walk you through what you’re going through. See how it changes you for the better!

Have you ever gone to see a counselor? How did it work out for you?

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Filed under faith, life, psychology, transformation

words to live by: tina fey.

From her phenomenal book, Bossypants.

30 ROCK -- Pictured: Tina Fey as Liz Lemon -- NBC Photo: Mary Ellen Mathews

If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty which is: who cares?

– Tina Fey

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Filed under the media, words to live by