back to the grind, consumed with mom-guilt.

I’d like to take this opportunity to give a standing ovation to all the stay-at-home moms out there. Bravo, ladies. Brav. Vo.

Y’all want some real talk? I’ll give you some real talk.

I’ve been a working mom for three days and let me just tell you — stay-at-home moms have it harder than working moms. (And, as an aside, stay-at-home moms who HOME SCHOOL? Psh. They’ve all got to be immortal droids or something.) I’ve been back in the workforce for almost three days and it’s like I’m in Cabo on vacation. Wooohoo! I can count on one hand the number of days that have gone by without me getting pooped on, and I can pee whenever I have to and not hold it until the baby’s asleep! (Okay, so maybe, based on that comment, I did stay-at-home mom life wrong. Whatever. Holding your bladder for five hours while consoling a colicky baby is legit, right? Don’t answer that.)

Anyway. Props to all you SAHMs. Major. Props.

More real talk. I miss my boy. Bad. 

The first day back was pretty great. I was distracted by all my new projects at work and the sweet welcome I got from my coworkers, seen here:

And the second day was okay, too. But once I got home, I realized that, at the end of my work day, I only have a few short hours with my baby until he’s down for bed which makes me SUPER. DUPER. SAD.

You guys. I’m in a downward thought spiral, here. My self-love is waning in lieu of mom-guilt. Does he still recognize my voice?! What if he grows up not knowing who I am? What if he thinks I’m just some weird lady who comes to his house and sleeps in his dad’s bed after being away for eight hours all day?! Even worse, what if he DOES know I’m his mom, but thinks I suck majorly because I’ve missed out on all the times he’s smiled as a two-month-old? What if, when he learns to talk, his first word is, “I-DON’T-KNOW-MY-MOM.” YOU GUYS?! HOW DO KIDS OF WORKING PARENTS NOT GROW UP COMPLETELY MALADJUSTED?! WHY AM I THE WORST?

Okay. So maybe my kid is adjusting fine. Maybe he’s two months old and doesn’t know the difference yet. Maybe he’ll grow up completely normal in spite of me. Maybe I’m the severely unhinged mental case who needs help.

Anyway.

I’m back in action, y’all! Back with a whole new set of insecurities! Let’s do this.

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6 Comments

Filed under baby love, commentaries, life, psychology

6 responses to “back to the grind, consumed with mom-guilt.

  1. oopsie23

    I never in my LIFE thought I would be a MOM let alone, a stay at home mom, but I swear to cheesus, some days I just want to go to work. So I can REST! Your little one will be fine. More than fine!

  2. Tori C

    Both of my parents worked full time when I was a kid, so here’s my take on it. I always knew who they were. I never resented them for sending me to preschool. I always looked forward to seeing them after school and telling them about my day and I loved spending time together over the weekend.

    Yes I cried when my mom would drop me off at preschool but that lasted for maybe 2 minutes. Then I spent the day with my awesome teachers and my friends.

    You’re doing what’s best for your family and that’s what counts.

    You rock!

  3. He’ll know you and love you just as much!! He’ll get excited and smile so big when you come home and you’ll always be his world!!

  4. Bri

    “Men, we are to love our wives based on her position as our spouse and not her performance as our spouse.”

    My old pastor from VA posted this on FB as part of a series they are doing and I couldn’t agree more..and I want to add, Lindsay, love yourself and find value in yourself because of your position in Christ, not because of your performance as a daughter, spouse, mother, or anything else.

    It sounds like your guilt is really a lie from the enemy to make you feel like you are failing in your calling as a mother (which could have the potential to cripple you in your efforts for fear of being a “bad” mom or “doing things wrong”, etc.) If your feelings are just that-feelings, and not a Spirit inspired conviction based on truth that He is speaking to you- than let it go, girl, or it will find a way to consume and debilitate you!

    p.s. from a SAHM let me just say…you working moms rock! you have two full time jobs! At least I have nap time to collect my thoughts…most days haha. Hang in there, friend!

  5. Lins' mom and Dax's G-ma

    You….and Dax….will do just fine. Love never fails. ;-)

  6. It’s all just so new…give it time. Trust me he WILL know who you are – from one working mom to another! ;-)

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